The Unseen: Paralysed

“Who’s there? Show yourself!” I shouted, but the words didn’t come out. I tried to put the bedside lamp on, but I couldn't move. I was paralysed. I have heard about sleep paralysis, but I have never experienced it before today. I tried hard to move or scream, but it was to no avail. I could feel someone or something come towards me, but there was nothing I could do but tremble in fear and hope my husband would wake up and help me.

Suddenly, the light came on. “Giada, what's wrong?” Miles asked. I couldn't speak although I tried to. “Giada, honey, talk to me. You look as if you have seen a ghost,” Miles said, holding me by my shoulders. His touch helped me get out of the state of paralysis. I moved my head to his chest, grabbing onto him tightly. “What happened, was it another nightmare?” he asked while slowly stroking my hair. “It wasn't a nightmare; someone was in the room,” I said, trembling in fear. “Come on, honey, I was here the whole time; there couldn't have been anyone in the room,” Miles said. “But you were asleep,” I said. “Okay, but if there was someone here, where did he go?” he asked. “I don't know,” I replied. “Okay, you go to sleep now; I'll hold you until you fall asleep,” Miles said as he lay me down and lay next to me with his arms around me, making me feel safe.

“No, no,” I shouted yet again, but the words didn't leave my mouth. I tried to wake Miles up, but I couldn't move, just like before. I lay there in fear for my life as I could feel it come towards me, but I could do nothing but stay there paralysed, unable to say or do anything. After a few minutes of being petrified, the light came on. “Miles,” I whispered, but the words didn't leave my mouth. He turned to me, saying, “Are you okay, did you fall asleep?” “No,” I whispered, hoping he would hear me. He looked at me as if he didn't hear a word I said. “Giada, honey, what's wrong, did you have another nightmare?” he asked, looking at my petrified self. “Okay, you don't look so good; maybe we should see a therapist,” he said, hugging me.

It took me a few minutes to open my mouth to speak. “I’m not crazy, I know what I saw,” I said. “I’m not saying that you are, only just that you need to see a doctor about these nightmares,'' Miles said. “They’re too real to be nightmares; there is something or someone after me,” I said. “Do you know how weird you sound when you say such things? Just let me help you, I'll make an appointment with a therapist,” he said, stroking my face. “Fine,” I said. “Okay, then, let's get some sleep,” Miles said.

“I made an appointment with one of the best shrinks in town,” Miles said with excitement as he walked into my office. “For heaven's sake, keep it down, Miles; we don't want the staff thinking that I'm kook,” I said. “Oh, come on, honey, you don't need to be nuts to see a shrink,” Miles said as he planted a kiss on my lips. “Still, can you just dial it down a little at my office,” I said. “Fine, your appointment is at 4:00pm,” he whispered. “Four? But it’s already three. Plus I have an important business meeting at 4,” I said. “Cancel it,” he said. “No, can't do, Mr. Tanaka is meeting me for a major business deal,” I said. “But what about your nightmares, don't you want to get rid of them?” Miles asked. “I do, but this deal is too important to pass on,” I said, holding his hand. “So your health is not as important?” he asked. “Honey, can you please call and schedule it for tomorrow?” I asked. “Sure, I’ll try,” he said, walking out while shaking his head.

‘Miles seemed annoyed at me for not going to see the therapist, but he should have spoken to me before setting the time. After all, he knows how important my business is to me,’ I said to myself as I watched him leave through the blinds. He called me after a few minutes and said that the doctor would see me tomorrow at 6:00pm. “Thank You, Miles,” I said, but he said, “Whatever,” and hung up. ‘Oh, he’s really mad. Maybe I should surprise him with a gift,’ I said to myself as I went through an online shopping site. There was this beautiful watch that caught my eye. ‘I’m sure he’ll like this,’ I said to myself as I placed the order. I asked the watch to be delivered to our house as I would get late.

I was at the meeting when my phone rang. I put it on silent mode until the meeting was over. After the meeting, I checked my phone and it was Miles. “Honey, did you buy me a watch?” he asked. “No, I bought it for my boyfriend, maybe they delivered it to you by mistake,” I said. “Oh very funny, but thanks for the watch, I love it,” he said. “You’re welcome, honey. I’m on my way home; you can thank me when I’m there,” I said. “Oh, yes, I'm planning to thank you so much that you might end up buying me a car to go with the watch,” he said, laughing. “Oh, does that mean you want a car?” I asked. “Well, I'll let you decide after I thank you,” he said. ‘Well, he's in a good mood and all I had to do was get him an expensive watch,’ I said to myself, smiling as I knew how excited he gets when he receives gifts. When I arrived home, Miles wasn't anywhere to be seen. “Miles, where are you?” I said, going from room to room only to find him lying in bed with nothing but the watch I bought for him.

“Well, you’re right: after the thanking I got, I do want to buy you a car,” I said as we lay in bed in each other’s embrace. I fell asleep in his arms feeling all safe, but that didn't last; I woke up in the dark and I wasn't in his arms anymore. I could feel the darkness come towards me as I lay petrified, unable to move or speak. I could feel it move away as the light came on. “What happened, did you have another nightmare?” Miles asked, wiping his eyes. I looked at him, unable to speak. He put his arms around me and hugged me. “Yes, Miles, hold me,” I said, finally cuddling up to him. “Keep the light on,” I said as he reached to knock it off. He took his hand off the switch and laid next to me.

I slept the rest of the night cuddled up to Miles and there were no more interruptions to my sleep. I woke up feeling refreshed as I was able to have more sleep than I have ever had since these nightmares, or whatever, began. ‘Miles calls them nightmares, but I'm sure it's not that simple. But I have no proof of it being otherwise as I'm the only one who goes through the ordeal, and whenever Miles puts the lights on, it's always gone. ‘What do I say to the shrink?’ I asked myself as I was planning to see her this evening. ‘Maybe she will have an idea of what it is and hopefully, she won't say that I'm going crazy, though sometimes, I feel like it,’ I said to myself.

It was almost 6:00pm, and I sat nervously outside the therapist’s office with Miles, not knowing what she would have to say about my predicament. “Don't worry, honey, everything will be fine,” Miles said, holding my hand. He knew I was nervous about seeing a therapist and was trying to make me feel better. ‘If not for his support, I would have gone crazy, and I'm glad that he's my husband,’ I said to myself, feeling lucky to have him in my life.

“Come on in, Mrs. Estephan,” the therapist said, putting her head out of the door. I walked in nervously while holding on to Miles' hand. “Don't worry, there is no judgement here; you can speak freely,” Sheila Conaway, the therapist, said. “So, what's your problem, and do you need your husband to be present?” she asked. “Yes, I need him, he's my rock,” I said, holding his hand tightly. “Okay, he can stay, but you need to be honest with me if you want me to help you,” she said. “Sure, I'll be honest, but I'm not sure if you’ll believe me,” I said. “Don't worry, just state your issues and I'll see what I can do to help,” she said.

After I explained what was happening to me, she asked if I was having the same recurring nightmare daily, and for how long. “One week,” I said. “Every day of the week?” she asked. “Yes, I said. “Okay, are you alone when this happens?” she asked. “No, my husband sleeps next to me, but when it happens, he's asleep and I go through sleep paralysis, unable to move or speak,” I said. “Have you had any stressful situations recently?” she asked. “Well, other than being frightened to death by whatever this is, no,”' I said. “What I mean is, have you had the passing of a loved one or any other family issues?” she asked. “No, none, but what do any of it have to do with my problem?” I asked.

“Are you sure? Even the smallest of issues can cause you to have nightmares,” she said. “No, the last funeral I had was my first husband Jonathan’s, and he died over a year ago,” I replied. “And how long have you been married for the second time?” she asked. “Six months,” I replied. “Okay, so your first husband died a year ago and then you remarried six months later?” Conaway asked. “Yes, but what does that have to do with anything?” I asked. “Were you involved with your second husband while your first was still alive?” she asked, “Of course not, we met at the funeral. And we were friends, to begin with, so he was there to console me. It was easier as we already knew each other,” I said. “You already knew him?” she asked. “Yes, Miles, Jonathan, and I went to college together. Jonathan and I fell in love and moved in together after graduation and, one year later, we got married. But we lost touch with Miles after college,” I said.

“How did he die?” she asked. “Three years after our marriage, he committed suicide,” I said. “He committed suicide? What was the reason for it?” she asked. “He suffered from depression,” I replied. “Do you feel guilty about remarrying?” she asked. “I don't know, maybe sometimes,” I said. “Well, maybe it's the guilt that's causing your nightmares,'' she said. “But it doesn't feel like nightmares, it feels very real,” I said. “It's normal to think it’s real, because it feels that way, but it's not,” she said. “So, what do I do?” I asked. “Speak to him and ask for forgiveness; say you love him but have to move on as you’re still alive,” she replied. “You want me to speak to my dead husband?” I asked. “Yes, maybe go to the cemetery and do it,” she said. “Will all this stop then?” I asked. “Maybe, let's see,” she replied.