The Unseen: Moving On

After the session, as we drove back, I turned to Miles and asked, “What do you think about what the doctor said? I mean, do you think it’s guilt that's causing these issues, and if so, why now?” I asked. “Well, I think it’s possible because your love for Jonathan was very strong,'' Miles said. “What does that mean? Are you saying I love Jonathan more than you?” I asked. “Of course you do; he was your first choice, wasn't he?” Miles asked. “Really, because I married him first?” I asked. “Yes, you chose him over me,” he said. “I know he was your first real love,” Miles said. “Why are you saying these things, Miles, don't you know how much I love you?” I asked. “I do, and I'm not mad at you; I’m just saying that he still has a special place in your heart,” he said. “I had no idea you felt this way, Miles. What can I do to prove my love to you?” I asked. “You don't have to. I understand that Jonathan was special,” he replied. “No, Jonathan was my past and you are my present and future. I loved Jonathan, but I love you now,” I said.”I know,” he said.

“Okay, let's go to the cemetery and finish this off,” I said, wanting to be able to get a good night's sleep, at least today. “Okay,” Miles said as we drove to the cemetery. There, I spoke to Jonathan and apologised for remarrying. “I’m sorry for marrying someone else, Jonathan, but I need to move on with my life. I need to start a family like we were supposed to. But as you are no more, I have to start a family with Miles. I loved you, but you are my past and Miles is my future, and I love Miles. It doesn't mean that I have forgotten you, it just means that I'm moving on,” I said. From the cemetery, as we drove home, I felt as if I had gotten a load off my shoulders. ‘I hope that these nightmares will end as I did what the therapist asked me to do,’ I said to myself. I felt relieved as Miles held my hand. “Did you mean all that, or did you say it to make me feel good?” he asked. “No, I meant every word, Miles, why don't you believe me?” I asked. “I do,” he said.

I went to bed, hopeful of having a good night's sleep after over a week of being woken up frightened and unable to go back to sleep in fear of whatever that was scaring the living hell out of me. I hoped for the best as I did as the therapist asked me to and spoke to my dead husband. “No!” I screamed once again as the nightmare began, but as usual, my screams didn't leave my mouth. I could feel it come towards me as I trembled in fear and tried to wake Miles, but he wasn't on the right side of the bed as he usually was. Then the light came on and Miles stood there asking, “Honey, what's wrong, did you have another nightmare?”

I laid there, unable to speak until he came over and held me. “Where were you, what’s happening, and why won't this stop? I did as I was asked to, yet it happens again,” I asked holding on to Miles as he stroked my hair. “I'm sorry, love, I was in the washroom. And I don't know what's happening either. Let's go back to the therapist tomorrow,” he said.

The next day, I went back to the therapist and related my horrific experience yet again. “Did you go to the cemetery?” she asked. “Yes, I did, and I spoke to my dead husband and apologised for marrying another,” I said. “Maybe I should prescribe some drugs to help you relax and get some sleep,” she asked. “Okay, at least when I'm asleep, they wouldn’t bother me...if they’re truly nightmares as you say,” I said. 

As we drove back home, I hoped at least today, I'll be able to get some well-deserved sleep; without enough sleep, I'm starting to feel like a zombie all-day-long and if not for caffeine, I wouldn't be able to run my company. We went to sleep as usual and fortunately, I was able to get a good night's sleep thanks to the medicine. I woke up feeling fresh and energised. At the office, I was able to get on with my work without a drop of coffee. I decided to skip coffee today as I had too much coffee in the past week, and it was starting to make me constipated. 

I returned home after work, still feeling full of energy. Miles was in his study, busy with his new book. “How’s the book going?” I asked, making him turn around. “Oh, not that well, my love,” he replied. “Why, what's wrong?” I asked. “Writer's block,” he replied. “Well, maybe you need some inspiration,” I said, putting my arms around him as I sat on his lap. “Oh, what's gotten into you today?” he asked, stroking my face. “I don't know, I just feel more energized than I have felt in a while, and I think it's because I had a good night's sleep,” I replied. “Well, then, why don't you inspire me?” he said, kissing me.

We went to sleep as usual after I took my pills. I was excited with the thought of getting another night of well-deserved sleep as I kissed Miles goodnight and closed my eyes. I was falling asleep when I felt the same presence yet again. ‘No, no, what’s happening? Why has it come back to torment me?’ I asked myself as I felt the shadow come towards me. I could feel it reach to touch me as I laid there, paralysed. I tried to move and speak, but, as usual, I couldn't do anything but stay still and petrified, not sure if it would end, or just end me. The lights came on and Miles stood in front of the bed as he looked at me and asked, “What, did it happen again?”

I shook my head, unable to speak as the words just wouldn't come out. “Why is this happening?” he asked as he hugged me, realising that I was too terrified to talk. I lay my head on his chest and cried. “I can't do this anymore, maybe we should move,” I said. “What, really?” He asked. “We should sell the house and move,” I said. “But will that really solve the problem?” he asked. “I don't know, I'm just so tired of all this,” I said. “Let's go see the therapist again. I'll make an appointment, but don't say you can't make it because you have important meetings,” Miles said.

“Don't worry, babe. Go to sleep, I'll hold you as you do,” he said as he stroked my hair. “Let's keep the light on,” I said. “Okay,” he replied. I found it hard to get back to sleep, fearing that whatever terrified me would come back. I laid there, awake, staring at the clock until dawn; I felt my eyes getting heavier as I fell into a slumber. I woke up and looked at the clock, only to notice that I had overslept. “Miles,” I said, looking at his side of the bed. He was fast asleep. I tapped him and said, “What happened to the alarm, Miles, and why didn't you wake me?”

He looked at me while wiping his eyes. “I'm sorry, I fell asleep. But I was up all night because of you and the light. I couldn't go back to sleep till dawn,” he said. “Well, me too, but what happened to the alarm?” I asked as I walked to the bathroom. “Oh, I remember it ring. I knock it off, but I don't remember anything after that,” he said. “Well, I have a meeting with an important client at 10:00 am and it's already nine,” I said as I brushed my teeth.

I rushed to the office only to find my client get ready to leave. “Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Ronaldo. I had a very rough night,” I said. “It’s quarter past ten,” he said with displeasure. “I'm sorry, but I have been having some sleep issues. I took some pills to help me, but it took longer than expected to work,” I said. After hearing that, he seemed to cool off. “Okay, then, shall we get to our meeting?” he asked. When I was at the meeting, I heard my phone ring. “I'm sorry, I usually put my phone on silent mode during meetings,” I said as I reached for my phone and silenced it. “It's okay, I can see that you have some issues,” he said. “Thanks, Mr. Ronaldo,” I said as I pulled out the file from my desk drawer.

After the meeting ended successfully, I checked my phone: it was Miles. When I called him back, he was crossed that I didn't answer his call. “Stop acting like a baby, Miles. I was in a meeting,” I said, annoyed. “Well, this baby just booked you an appointment with the therapist, so be there at 6:00pm,” he said. “Wait, won't you come?” I asked. “How can I? I'm a baby, after all, and babies are not allowed to drive,” he said. “Oh, come on, Miles, just try to understand my situation, please,” I said. “Okay, fine. I'll come,” he said, hanging up.

I was at my desk, and I didn’t realise the time pass as the door opened and Miles walked in. “Oh, hi, Miles. I thought you would meet me at the doctor's office,” I said, looking at the time. “You forgot about the appointment, didn't you?” he asked with a hint of displeasure in his voice. “No, I didn't; I was busy and didn't notice the time,” I said, picking up my bag to leave. “I knew you would; that's why I came to pick you up. You need to think about your health, too,” he said. “I know, Miles, I'm sorry, but running a business takes a lot of effort,” I said, holding his hand as we left.

At the therapist's office, I related all the events since I last saw her, making her look at me confused. “Wait, the medicine worked the first day and not the second?” she asked. That about sums it,” I said. “How’s that even possible, did you maybe forget to take the medicine yesterday?” she asked. “No, Miles gave me the medicine. Didn't you, Miles?” I asked. “Yes, I did,” he replied. “Okay, maybe you mixed up the medicine with some other medicine, causing an interaction,” she said. “That's not possible, doctor; I don't take any other medicine,” I said. “Well, then, I'll up the dose,” she said. “Are you sure, doctor; what about the side-effects?” Miles asked. “Don't worry, after a few days, we will revisit it and decide if it's safe to reduce the dosage,” she said. “I'm in. If I have to live, I need to live to my best potential, and this issue won't let me. If the medicine helps, so be it,” I said.

I was hoping things would get better with the higher dosage, but I was skeptical as I knew how things turned out before. “Don't worry, babe. I'm sure it will be okay,” Miles said, stroking my hand. ‘He knows me so well,’ I said to myself as I held his hand.

At night, as we got ready for bed, Miles gave me my pills. “I don't like you taking so much medicine, but what can we do?” he said. “Don't worry, Miles, I'll be fine. I do have a strong immune system,” I said. “I know, but we’ll need to put the baby plan on hold until this issue is settled,” he said. I just realised the reason why he objected to upping the dosage. “Well, I can't have a baby until this situation is rectified. After all, how can I have a baby when I can't take care of myself?” I said. “You’re right,” he said before kissing me.

I guess I fell asleep as I woke up in the morning feeling all refreshed. “Oh, you're looking good today, babe. No nightmares?” Miles asked, putting his arms around me. “No, not at all,” I said, kissing him. “I'm glad," he said. “Well, I hope it stays this way, because I just can't have another day like that,” I said. “Don't worry, honey, I'm sure things will work out,” he said.

Things did work out as a week passed without me having any more nightmares. I decided to call them nightmares at last as I had no proof to say otherwise. But to believe it would all end just like that was wishful thinking; I woke up, yet again, petrified, as they came back. At the time, Miles was going towards the washroom when he looked at me. “Honey, are you alright?” he asked, noticing the fear in my eyes. “It happened again, didn't it?” he said as he sat next to me and put his arms around me. “What's happening to me? Why is this happening again?” I asked, laying my head on his chest. “Oh, honey, I wish I knew. I hate seeing you like this,” he said, caressing my face. “I can't stay here anymore; we need to move,” I said. “Okay, babe, if that's what you want,” Miles said. “Until then, let's move into a hotel,” I said. “Okay, anything you want, my love,” he said.